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today is supposed to be a happy day, but its a big NO for me.

okay, this is a continuation post from my previous post.

this morning, I got a call from my mother.
of course I'm a bit surprised, 
'why suddenly they call me because its like soo early in the morning?' (it was 6.30 if i wasn't mistaken.)
that questions kept popping in my mind.

I heard my mother's voice. 
she asked me about my EMJ exam which I'm going to sit at 9 am this morning.
I answered her questions.
and after that, she passed the hand-phone to my father.
asking him to talked to me.

I can already sensed something was not right.
but, I kept calmed. I don't want to make early guess.
my father asked me again about at what time I'm gonna sit for my exam.
I told him at 9, I will finished at 10. 

then he was like, "I've something to tell you,but I'll tell you later, after your exam,"
his voice was soo different.
shaky and not energetic voice, which is not my father's voice at all.
confirmed! I know something is reaaaaaly wrong here. 
something bad happen, but I don't have any idea what is it actually..
I was so eager to know, begging him  to tell me, "what is it that you wanna tell me, tell me now, please, please?" 

so finally my father blurt it out, "your grandmother died just now, at 1 o'clock in the morning,"
I was so shoooock like seriously shocked.
I couldn't really explain how shocked I am in words.
I'm not expecting that to happen. 
so yes I was shocked!

I cant believe what both my ears heard, and I don't want to believe what my mind is telling me to.
my father was calling my name again and again, but I cant talked.
I don't want him to hear my shaky voice. 
if I talked, I'm gonna burst into tears.
so, I kept silence. till he off the line.
then my mother called me again, and at that time..
I have gather my spirit, and I said, "mak, insyaAllah, kakak will go home today. I'll try my best okay."

after done talking to her.
I laid on the bed, crying alone.
after sometime I went to the bathroom to take my shower.
in there also, I cried.

its time for me to go to the examination hall.
I decide to tell my friends after the exam finished.
I don't want them to worry unnecessarily about me.
but, while waiting to go inside the examination hall, while we are discussing..
my friends asked me about something, which I cant remember what.
but suddenly I felt like crying again.

it involuntary so I cant really control my tears.
so, I quickly stand up and went to the toilet.
I heard my friend, mas says, "eh, kenapa tiba tiba sedih ni?"
and I was like, 'my grandmother died this morning' but I don't tell her that, cause I wanna cry first.

so, I went to one of the toilet, sit there crying and gather some spirit. and courage.
after sometime, I went out.
and I saw my another friend. 
and she was vomiting!

funny but true, I'm crying, she's vomiting.
and I was like tapping her back, make it more easier for her.
and she was like, "hey, why are crying?"..
and we comfort each other there.

I went out with my red nose, and swollen eyes.
so, even if I don't want to, I must tell them.
I have to blurt out the news.
and they were like saying something nice to comfort me.
I'm so glad to have friends like them. :)
thank you.

so, I sat for my exam.
since I was so busy writing and thinking, I barely remembered about the bad news.
the funny part is when, after the exam finished.
my friend ekin asked me, "where you wanna go after the exam finished?"
and I replied la, "I'm going home" and suddenly I start to crying again. LOL.

ekin, I'm so sorry because I scared you like that.

so the examination had passed.
now is the time for me to pray a lot.
asking for the ALMIGHTY  for the best. 

and for my grandmother, mak tok.
kakak harap mak tok baik baik saja kat sana.
semoga mak tok ditempatkan di kalangan mereka yang baik, yang solehah.
I love u sooo much! 

and seriously, I wanna go back.
at 3 pm I will go to bus station, buy tickets. i hope there is one seat for me.

okay bye.

ps : to those who read this, can you please sedekahkan Al-Fatihah kat arwah nenek saya? it will be so meaningful for her. insyaAllah. semoga Allah sahaja yang dapat balas budi baik kamu semua. 


nuraru said…
Al fatihah..moga arwah diletakkan dalam kalangan orang2 yg beriman...

it was supposed to be just another day, but Allah has another plan to u..

lisa, i was like freaking scared tadi tp i somehow knew that something was wrong.. sabar yer.

semua yg hidup itu akan kembali kpd penciptaNya. itu janji Allah.
Ninie said…
be strong. Al Fatihah utk arwah nenek awk
safiamira said…
takziah lisa..
syafeeq faXys said…
lisa,there's a start and an end to everything in this world,including us humans.

We know we will go through this someday,we know we will lose somebody we love someday but it doesn't mean we have stop loving them.

You have my sincere sympathy.Remember,she will always live on in your hearts.I know that she was a lot of things to many people and will be missed tremendously.

Be strong lisa,May your memories be your comfort.

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kalo xsuka jangan lah layan. maaf la kan. aku penuhkan newsfeed korang.  mesti bosan kan tengok status aku jer. kang aku delete baru tahu. aku xperlulah orang yang suke sindir menyindir ni. ko saje nk bergurau ke aku xtahu. tapi ayat ko serius menyakitkan hati. pandai gile ko sindir eh? newsfeed ko x gerak ke? kesian. kawan kawan ko xmen fb ke? ke aku je kawan ko yang men fb?  jadi news aku yang banyak naik? annoying gila.  aku xkisah langsung kalau nak delete ko. baru ko puas kan? xjumpa status aku?
bodow lah. aku bukan update status gedik mengada pon. aku update status yang orang nak tahu ape aku fikir pasal die. itu pon jadi hal. nak sindir aku bagai. serius benci orang macam tuh.  ok fine. aku deactiveate fb aku.

bye. :(

nescafe ais.

hebat x?
si kakak yg umonye 19taon tahon 2010.. nak wat nescafe ais.
but then x reti. so, mintak tlg adik die yg umonye 10taon 2010.
sgt terox kan kakak srg ni?
tp, hasilnye sangat bes. nyum3. :))
*bakal suami saya. nescafe ais saya bes taw*  :))

SPICE-UP UR BLOG : buat sticky post

hari ni nak share, macam mana nak buat sticky post.  sticky post tuh macam, post yang melekit. huh?
ok, sebenarnya. sticky post tuh macam post pemberitahuan (contohnya la) bagi sesuatu tempoh masa. kalau korang post benda lain, post pemberitahuan korang tuh akan still kat paling atas. so, orang masuk, tuh post first yang orang akan baca. 
sesuai la bagi sape sape yang buat kontest itu. :)
cara cara nya :

 tekan post option (yang bulat merah)
 pilih 'scheduled at'
 pilih tarikh dan pukul berapa korang nak sampai bila post tuh jadi post utama. :)
 dah siap!

k bye. :)